Quick Update/Rating System

Yo “dog”, are you cats ready to get “lit” as the kids say? (I think at least).

Well, ignoring that sad opening, it’s been awhile since my first post, about Freddy Got Fingered. But fret not dear citizen, for I’m planning on reviewing Digimon: The Movie, so that ought to be a doozy. (Spoiler Alert: It’s gonna be a piece of shit).

But besides that, I haven’t really done anything of note, and there’s nothing to blog about. Sure, the Shithole of The Internet known as BuzzFeed just made fun of 4chan, so that should be fun. I’m also toying with the idea of making some reviews on Rick and Morty season three. But then again, I don’t want to have to churn out the same thing week after week, when all the reviews will be identical.

Am I James Holmes? ‘Cause I’m firing some shots over here.

Feel free to use that shitty/edgy joke anytime.

Anywho, I’d also like to ask you guys what you want to see me review, I only ask that you stay away from TV shows, cause I’m not the biggest fan of watching TV. So go forth 2-3 people reading this, suggest something and make me proud.

Oh yeah, The Emoji Movie…what the fuck Sony? Why does this movie exist, please, if you want to see this movie, don’t. I don’t normally advise this, but if you really want to see this trainwreck, please just watch it on exodus, or Putlocker. I really don’t want this movie to make back it’s budget, but I know it will, because like Corporate Executives, the audience is retarded.
Anyway, I’m really getting off track, my sponsors aren’t going to be happy about this.

So for the foreseeable future, I will be adding review scores at the end of my reviews, because I know people just love those.

Well shit, I’m just gonna stay out of comment sections for a while.

Aside from racist comments, the rating scores should go like this.

  • 1/5- Shit, horrendous, makes me want to Persona 3 myself.
  • 2/5- Not good, but didn’t make me want to slit my throat with a desert spoon.
  • 3/5- Good, held my interest until the end, made me okay with living another day.
  • 4/5- Great, movie was consistently good, had a blast, accepted living with open arms.
  • 5/5- A fuckin masterpiece, practically flawless, made me put away the noose for good.

I didn’t really like the standard x/10 review scores, I just think that it’s easier to translate the words on the page to numbers when your only dealing with ~5 scores.

I hope you found some joy in reading my long ass update, and hope to see you all again for the Digimon review.

(kill me).


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